Thursday, June 12, 2014


     I've noticed an interesting development recently. I've become decidedly surgical with how expeditiously and efficiently I remove people from my life.  I'm not certain if it's a side effect of age or a general increase in "fuckit-ness" but I've never experienced such quick transitions when it came to friendships as far back as I can remember.  But lately my historically vast fields of patience have experienced an unanticipated pendulumatic swing towards the diminutive.  Perhaps my time has just become more precious, or my understanding of it has merely become more lucid.  Either way, I find that times that used to be spent in quiet contemplation has now been replaced with rapid deliberation and now more often than ever before, my mind leans towards dismissal.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.
There's something to be said about self-preservation. A degree of self-centeredness that we often vilify because of an unnecessary correlation between being focused and being maliciously selfish. Ultimately self-preservation is inherently universal among all living organism. This is most often expressed in the clichéd "fight or flight" argument but often we forget how thorough this behavior is emotionally and mentally as well. In the end, the person who is the most concerned about you, is yourself. On the other hand, I believe that notions like empathy, sympathy, compassion, and charity seem to be cornerstones of intelligence and maturity. Without these abstractions society could never reach such heights like the one we're blessed enough to be experiencing. Yet, these concepts laugh in the face of logic and repeatedly expose our vulnerability with the hopes that "this time it will be different" when it stands to reason that in all likelihood, things are more inclined to stay the same. Character I've found tends to settle less like sand, building and growing over time in sedimentary layers; but more like water, finding it's lowest point and leveling out based on what vessel you decide to put it in. Without adapting oneself, we tend to resort to what's comfortable. I've found myself starting to question the conceivably of someone in my age demographic that has the wherewithal to make changes to one's personality that has taken so many years to develop.

     I've also started to believe that perhaps we've become such a guarded generation and with progressively detached forms of communication and such significant lack of quality human interaction that our ability to truly understand relational reciprocity has reached an all time low.  Maybe this is just something from my generation that I can't relate to and in an ironic and almost laughably hypocritical defense mechanism, I've coldly resorted to excision.  I suppose now I just fear for collateral damage. I'm distressed that like any other learned skill, it will eventually reach such proficiency that it will become automated, merciless, and machine-like...ruthless.

A tree needs to be pruned to grow at times I suppose... then again, maybe I'm just tired.

Perhaps we should all revisit our priorities...

...time is of the essence. How you spend it speaks to what you value. If you're reading this and are feeling frustration, ask yourself why? Are there people in your life that are mistreating you and you wonder why you still give them that right?  Have you taken someone for granted and wonder how in the world you are still in their lives? Have you let someone know that you appreciate the patience they've shown you, or perhaps how grateful you are for their friendship because you didn't always deserve it.
“Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.” ~ Stephen Covey
     We need to stop the glorification of busy. It's no longer a valid justification. We're all busy. We all have a million things going on in our lives and each day, and we all ultimately, albeit it arrogantly, attempt to control and choose which moments we experience and which we don't. Embrace that power and wield it wisely, don't allow busy to be your crutch.  You're busy because you choose to be. The caveat is that you must not take it personally if someone else's decisions don't come to pass the way you would have liked them to. You're not too busy. It's just not that important.  There's nothing wrong with that! Just know this...

1 comment:

  1. CK,
    I've just read this post, and it has struck a chord. I need to step up to the important and let go of excuses.
    Ms. Cameron
    Darren's mom



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